You Hurt My Feelings ★★★½

Beth Mitchell (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is an author whose career has gone under the radar. Her latest published work, a memoir, is in bookstores but not in the display window or main shelf and nobody in the writing class she teaches has actually read or even heard of the book. She has been working on something new, her first foray into fiction writing with a mystery story that has been the focus of her life for two years. Seeking the advice and proofreading of her husband Don (Tobias Menzies), a therapist, Beth has struggled to work through this new territory, but Don has always assured her that the book is good. However, after overhearing him talking with their mutual friend Mark (Arian Moayed) about how much he does not like the book and cannot imagine telling Beth that harsh truth, Beth spirals and struggles to comprehend how this man she loves could lie to her and hide his true feelings. In writer/director Nicole Holofcener‘s You Hurt My Feelings, these lies told to loved ones to keep them happy, their purpose, and their impact, take center stage with funny and stirring results.

You Hurt My Feelings is always a comfortable experience, a slice-of-life film with natural characters and performances that never have to try too hard for impact. The laughs are plentiful, never forced and always authentic to a moment. Holofcener’s script is very funny, but some of the best laughs are simply watching the cast react or how a line is delivered. A scene of Beth teaching her class is hysterical, largely due to Louis-Dreyfus’ physical expressions and strained delivery as her students discuss a memoir they read and liked, while only half-acknowledging that Beth, too, had written a memoir. Louis-Dreyfus’ chemistry with Michaela Watkins, who stars as her sister Sarah, shines through in their moments together. They have a genuine feeling between them, just walking and talking or shopping for furniture – Sarah is an interior designer – with the two discussing their relationships as easily as they shift into feeling embarrassed by the behavior of their sibling in public.

The drama is low-key, taking a mature look at how one would respond to hearing their spouse’s real opinion of their work and how they move forward together. Though built around Beth hearing Don’s opinion of her novel, this theme extends beyond her to Sarah and Mark’s relationship, Beth and Sarah’s relationship with their mother Georgia (the hysterical Jeanne Berlin), Beth and Don’s relationship with their son Eliott (Owen Teague), and other general life relationships. Lies or hiding truth to avoid hurt feelings or drama permeates the entirety of You Hurt My Feelings, capturing the loving purpose behind it but some of the negative consequences, whether untrustworthiness or misplaced confidence that could end up doing more damage than being upfront in the first place. The most impressive part of You Hurt My Feelings is how under control and how well-written it is, as Holofcener’s terrific script flows so well that she makes it appear easy or effortless. Every beat and moment adds to the characters or the themes. It truly feels lived in, traversing the city streets with the same familiarity that it does the strains, love, and quiet moments of a relationship.

You Hurt My Feelings is a dramedy with heart and tenderness, creating a consistently pleasant and enjoyable experience. A terrific cast, led by the wonderful Julia Louis-Dreyfus, a terrific script, and sharp direction, capture a natural beauty in the relationships between these couples, their children, their parents, and their friends. A slice of life film with plenty of effective situational humor, relatable drama, and understanding of the feelings of all parties when drama arises, You Hurt My Feelings finds Holofcener firing on all cylinders.