Die My Love ★★★

Die My Love is challenging. Director Lynne Ramsay fine tunes every element of this production to be as agitating as possible, dropping the viewer into the mindset of a woman such as Grace (Jennifer Lawrence). The tight 1.33:1 framing creates a natural claustrophobic feeling. The sound is irritating and grating. The barking of a dog, the smashing of glass, or the crying of a baby turn into a suffocating cacophony, every sound adding to the overstimulation of Grace’s life. Grace herself is abrasive. Her actions are erratic and her dialogue often crass and crude. Every element is aimed at making the viewer uncomfortable, offering little relief or escape in its study of a woman suffering from post-partum depression. Grace and her husband Jackson (Robert Pattinson) were madly in love when they moved to Montana. Jackson got his Uncle’s remote home and saw it as an ideal spot for he and Grace to start a family. There is even an office where Grace could do her writing and, as he says, work on “the great American novel.” However, something is amiss.

They christen this home by having sex on the floor. They have sex quite frequently in the early days of their time in this home. Even then, Ramsay and cinematographer Seamus McGarvey immediately box the couple in. Not only is the aspect ratio itself already tight, but the camera as they first look over the interior is set up at the back of the home with the entire expanse of the living area viewable. Every archway adds to the tight frame, while the ground is littered with leaves from considerable neglect. The home is old and tired, showing the wear and tear of the years. Their young and passionate love may get them through the early days, but once Grace becomes pregnant and gives birth, the weight of everything is profound. She feels immediately disconnected from Jackson, while he offers little help with their baby. Working about half the week on the road, Grace is alone. When Jackson is there, he is either complaining about how Grace is keeping the home or dropping off a new dog that he bought for them, which is of course extra work solely for Grace because he will never be home to train the dog. Grace feels the pressure of new motherhood, even seeing signs of her failure in a store-bought cake the couple share as she states, “A good mom would have baked.” 

Left alone all day as a full-time mom and housekeeper, she is driven to the brink. There is nobody around except Jackson’s mother Pam (Sissy Spacek) who lives in the area and a mysterious motorcyclist (LaKeith Stanfield) who always slows down in front of their home. Jackson, as Grace points out, gets to be out in the world and cannot fathom the crushing weight of isolation and suffocation that Grace endures on a daily basis. The noise is loud. The silence is loud. The burdens fall entirely on Grace and as her disconnection from those she loves grows, she spirals. Die My Love does not offer the audience any off-ramp, no chance to look away or miss the steps of Grace’s journey into psychosis. She is lost to not only Jackson, but to herself as her erratic and discordant behavior drives a further wedge between them while he himself is completely lost. He has no idea how to reach Grace, exacerbating her problems at every turn even if, in his heart of hearts, he means well. They do love one another, but these first months of parenthood have tested every bond and there may be no way back. As Grace says to Jackson when the dog is injured in a car accident, “Something you love is suffering. Put it out of its misery.”

Die My Love is not a film that is easy to enjoy. For myself, I was at times driven to feel contempt and disgust with its approach. It is intentionally antagonistic, while the characters can at times feel so alien that any chance at human empathy feels impossible to achieve. And yet, even as I was repulsed by it, I was drawn to it. It is a strange and deeply affecting film, one that demands to be reckoned with and trusts its viewer to accept the considerable challenge in working through its abrasiveness to embrace it as a truly powerful work. Ramsay and star Jennifer Lawrence combine to bring the feeling of post-partum depression and of the unique isolation a new mother can feel (especially when all she has around her is an unhelpful husband and her mother-in-law) to an all-encompassing cinematic experience. It is insufferable, distant, harsh, and cruel at times, and yet if one is able to meet Die My Love where it is and what it is attempting to do, it is hard to not be moved. Ramsay has noted that Die My Love is a dark comedy and while the film is bleak and unrelenting, this feeling does come through. It is hard not to laugh at how uncomfortable and unbelievable these characters behave with Die My Love able to mine its audience’s discomfort for a vast array of feelings.

Jennifer Lawrence is tremendous. She seems to revel in taking on challenging roles such as this with plenty in common with her role here and in the controversial mother!. It is at times an intensely physical role, requiring plenty of vulnerability and energy. At others, it is a quiet and subdued role. The way the look in her eyes change, shifting from her being present to suddenly being gone again and slipping away into another mental plane. The passion and love in her eyes during the early scenes change into that blend of disconnected, sorrowful and scornful that comes to define Grace for much of Die My Love. It is an incredibly difficult role, but one that Lawrence nails at every turn. Her chemistry with Pattinson is crucial to Die My Love. While one may be mystified why, after all of this, they are still together – and, in fact, get married after much of the story has occurred – this is a love story at its core. It is their raw and unbridled passion in the beginning that changes into being young parents who are struggling to balance their love and new responsibility. The depth of their feeling for one another is felt in how they love and fight, while even the ending and its overwhelming symbolism exemplifies their unique and, as Ramsay says, “fucked up” love.

Die My Love is overbearing. It does not aim to make audiences cheery, instead dropping us into the mind of a new mother. Though she may reject the notion she is suffering from postpartum depression, something is affecting the mind of Grace and it is through her that the viewer experiences the events of Die My Love. Bringing audiences into a mind fighting for sanity, her marriage, and her individuality, director Lynne Ramsay is able to capture what Grace is feeling on a very deep level. Jennifer Lawrence’s tremendous performance and strong chemistry with Robert Pattinson adds to it, capturing the love that underpins all of the tumultuous events of Die My Love. This is not an easy film to love. In fact, at times, I hated it. I may still hate it in some respects, but this is an ambitious and daring film, one that refuses to allow audiences to have simple reactions to it and demands every element of itself to be felt. This may be too much for some viewers, but for those willing to sit with Die My Love and come to terms with what it is after, it leaves a mark.